Miracle In They Sky
On Day a Girl named Erika was walking home in the rain with her Mum and it was pouring Down with rain it was very unatural because the past few days had been fulled with sunshine and they didn't know why today was a stormy day even the weather reporter reported that it would be sunny but it wasn't well Erika and her mum where walking home Erika saw a Whale in the sky she told her mum but her mum didn't believe he so she kept telling her mum and her mum finally looked up and Saw it .......
What an interesting picture. I love that you have captured the little girl's imagination, and the adults lack of one. Maybe next time try to use more descriptive language to paint a picture in the reader's mind. Also, remember your punctuation.
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