As Soon as the Captain Woke up after he heard the big Bang so he went to Wake up all of the Crew Members As soon as they Ran on Deck there was water ever were They had crashed in to a giant Ice Berg it had damaged all of the Front side of the ship all the Crew Members tried to stop the Water from coming on the Boat But it was no use the water Just Kept Entering the Boat But Suddenly the Boat started sinking there was as Much water on the Boat to fill up The Biggest Pool in the World But the Captain Remembered that he had tons of life Boats on The Deck Tucked away in Case of a Emergency The Crew helped to Blow up all of the Life Boats But Suddenly a giant Wave the Size of a City came over the Boat and all the Crew members Could not Be Seen thought all of the Fog that the Wave brung with it ??????
Hi Everyone This Week like last Monday i am Writing a Story But this Week Thought i Would Switch it Up So this Week i am Only Writing Another half of My Story This Week I hope you enjoy this Weeks Writing If you Would Like to Try and guess whats going to happen For Weeks Writing You can Write it in the Comments Box Down Below Bye till next time everyone Bye !!!!
Hmmm, what could happen next? Possibly all of the crew are flung into the wild water, pulled down into the depths. One by one they struggle to the surface to find nothing but waves and debris. They cling to any bits of wood they can find and await rescue.
ReplyDeleteAgain, my only feedback is to look at your punctuation. You have not used a single full stop in your paragraph. Maybe try reading your writing aloud. Where you need a breath, you will need to put a full stop. Where an idea change, you need a full stop. E.g. Then captain woke to a loud bang! He ran to wake up all the crew members. As soon as they arrived on deck they noticed water everywhere, and upon inspection, realised they had crashed into a giant iceberg that had damaged the front side of the ship.